Post by Miriam
One of the reasons we started this website was in retaliation to a comment a nasty little guttersnipe made to me when I strolled through town in a pair of Victoria Beckham-style flared jeans and high boots. Comment is too mild a word, actually. He called me a cunt. I couldn’t believe it. The gumption! But I’ve realised since that he wasn’t calling me a cunt per ce, he was saying I was cuntish for not fitting in the style norm of rural Ireland.
I’m happy to say that plenty of people have no problem dressing well or differently or exactly how they feel in the town I grew up in, but I’m sorry to say that those people get judged for it. The common attitude is to fit in or (be told to) fuck off.
Last week, when I was visiting home from Dublin, a pair of dickheads in a van stopped me on the street to ask for directions to a place where I now know they fully well knew the location of. I was wearing a black ensemble with high boots and shades – so far, so normal – but I was pulling an orange suitcase behind me which makes me a laughing stock apparently. The van men sniggered at me for a few seconds before I walked off, and yelped at me out the window when they caught up with me. To them, it was ‘craic’. To me it was mean. It was intimidation. It was something I didn’t expect in 2019.
Disagree with me if you want, but men from ‘the country’ can be absolute pricks when it comes to women, especially women who don’t fit outside the norm. And it doesn’t stop at women; my husband, who’s from Kerry, doesn’t wear things he would wear in Dublin because he knows he’d be slagged for it and just can’t be dealing with that hassle.
But it’s not just country men. Men from anywhere can be judgmental assholes when it comes to women’s style. You would think that with the #MeToo movement and all the recent discussion over women’s rights and consent might have caused them to think again before claiming that a woman in a short skirt and low cut top is ‘a slag’, but no. Judging women on what they wear is fair game, because, I suppose, they choose to wear it.
However, women don’t get a get-out-of-jail free card on the matter. I don’t either! We all have opinions on style; that’s why websites like this exist. But men using the way you dress to embarrass or harass you is easy for them and leaves you feeling like shit – or worse.
Your style is a refection of your personality – even people who say they have no interest in clothes and fashion (because you can tell they have no interest in clothes and fashion, which is fine!). Choose to wear a Star Wars t-shirt because you’re a Star Wars fan, and everyone will know you’re a Star Wars fan. But decide that today you’re going to wear jean flares and style your hair in bouncy curls because you want to emulate a 1970’s Charlie’s Angel and you’re a cunt.
Or, you’re a fabulous individual who isn’t afraid to express themselves through style and subtle pop-culture references.
We know what’s right.