This is the essential item no one is wearing anymore

This ‘essential item’ was burned years ago only to rise from the flames in triumphant fashion (see what I did there?)

Honestly speaking, when you talk about items of clothing that you literally can’t live without – not all of us are comfortable in the nude – the bra is up there at the top of the list. The bra is a bona fide essential item for a host of obvious reasons. When I claim that no one is wearing it anymore, of course I mean people who can afford to set free the nipple in its rawest form.

If you’ve got boobs that swing, bounce, droop or sway, you probably want to wear a bra for comfort, for streamlining. For sanity, I guess. But for those of you with Kendall Jenner style mini burger buns who have been wearing bras in solidarity with our bigger bosomed pals, I have news. We don’t have to bind our boobies.

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For some reason, braless boobs make some people uncomfortable. I’m not even talking about an actually naked female chest, I mean boobs under clothes. The site of two individual breasts complete with nipple that aren’t confined to cups can even shock people. Society says that there’s a time and a place for un-tethered boobs, even a pair as unassuming as Kendall’s. It’s okay if they appear on page three or if a baby is on the end of one. Also acceptable is if the top half is squeezed as far up to the bearer’s collar bone as possible – but only the top half and strictly above the nipple.

At a wedding a couple of years ago, I went braless and my friend gave me plasters to cover my nips, for fear of offence? My dress was as covered up as you can get, except for the back which was low and would have exposed a bra strap which I just wasn’t prepared to do. To reveal a bra strap just because mini-boobed women with no real need for one are told we have to wear one in the name of ‘decency’? Not on my watch. Is it indecent if Thor’s nips perk up in the cold? No. But, when it comes to top halves, there’s, as usual, one rule for them and another for us. Size doesn’t matter.

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Last summer, Irish women of all ages, shape and size faced the biggest style conundrum of our lives. We had to wear summery clothes all summer and not just for those odd sunny days or for that fortnight in the South of France. The unprecedented ‘good weather’ didn’t suit our all-season wardrobes. Warm weather does boobs no favours and bras make it worse. The straps. The exposure. The sweat. So, we took them off. Left right and centre I saw women in string tops and cute dresses provoke blushes everywhere.

Hannah

As Hannah Horvath in Girls Lena Dunham was unafraid to stomp the streets of Williamsburg in little rompers, no bra and not a care (about her personal style) in the world. Say what you like about Dunham (and plenty of people have a lot to say), but her lack of shame about her body, and her boobs, was and still is, to be admired. Tell us, would you who whip the ol’ over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder off the minute you walk in the door after work be tempted to test the waters by foregoing it in the real wide world once in a while? Will our mini-boobed members get rid of these expensive bits of wiring and material for good? Are you appalled by the idea of letting loose? Let us know!

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