Men of Ireland: It’s time to stop committing this crime against fashion

Post by TM

I only judge people on their style privately. Or in a specifically designated WhatsApp group with my fellow bitches. But never out loud in public and never in comments on t’internet. I believe that people should wear whatever the hell they like, but sometimes I wish they would like something else.

Some people just don’t know what suits them and would love to know. Get in touch! I’ll tell you! Some people don’t care if what they’re wearing doesn’t suit them and ok, fine, more power to them. Then there are the people who deliberately wear things that don’t suit them purely because they’re ‘on trend’ or ‘in style.’ These are the people who can’t be helped. These are the men who wear skinny business pants.

Men wearing skinny jeans isn’t a new thing, but judging from the sheer volume of young guys limping around town in them, skinny jeans are more popular in Ireland than ever before. Skinny jeans are a style statement, though. It’s a uniform that shows which social tribe you (currently) belong to. Wear them in your free time with slightly uncomfortable pride.

Because it’s not casual skinnies I’m talking about. It’s the skintight work pants that I’ve spied a frighteningly large number of times. And horrifyingly, it’s catching on.

It doesn’t make sense. It’s so easy for men to look good at work. It’s the easiest place to look good, in fact, apart from weddings. (But don’t get me started on The Races.) If your dress code is ‘smart casual’, skinny pants are probably fine. But for business wear? You’re ruining it!

When I lived in Korea, the most popular work suit was skinny and shiny. Horrible, but a homage to the suit, rather than an offence against it. The pants I’ve been averting my eyes away from all over Dublin are wedgie-inducing and varicose vein causing. I imagine the legs, when finally escaped from them, would be pure white from the circulation being cut off, and deeply indented with seams. I don’t want to think about the state of the crotch area.

The wearers of these pants are young. They’ve probably just started their first real job in a dynamic advertising firm. They’re used to wearing pants tight and low. But if you discovered a ‘work version’ of a onesie, would you wear it? NO! Because it’s unprofessional and it looks bad (but at least a onesie is comfortable).

It’s hard to find a picture to explain the pants visually because it seems as though this is an Irish thing. I’ve been to other cities recently during the work week and didn’t see one young man potentially reducing their sperm count at work. But pass Lemon and Duke this evening, and you’ll see a cluster of them for sure.

If you are a young man reading this and it’s touching a sensitive part of you, look at the picture below. I know that you want to look good. I know that you think those skinny pants are working for you. I know that you want to show off those hours at the gym working on your glutes. Do that in your skinny jeans at the weekend. For work, wear something like this.

See? Still skinny. But the general public won’t be able to see your muscles through these pants and that’s a good thing.

 

 

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