Post by Miriam
Even though once I have one on I always quite enjoy it, I really don’t like Christmas jumpers. There’s a new one in H&M that I especially hate, it has the body of an elf from the collar down (your head is supposed to be the elf head I suppose) and written underneath are the words Elfie Selfie. Yes, really.
Last year, I bought a plain red jumper to act as my Christmas jumper because red = Christmas. I never wear red so really, it would have been just the same as wearing a novelty jumper. My plan was to jingle it up by adding a garland of tinsel around my neck because tinsel = the best decoration. If I was an elf and tinsel was elf crack, I’d be addicted.
For the past few weeks I haven’t been able to wear any other colour than black. When I couldn’t be bothered doing laundry for two weeks and got down to the very last dregs of my wardrobe I couldn’t avoid colour but it wasn’t for me. I think, however, with Christmastime’s imminent arrival, that that is about to change.
For some annoying and unavoidable reason, Christmas brings out my inner 14 year old, the same one who loved her silver lamé-esque skirt (-esque because it was from Debenhams) and couldn’t help wearing glittery nail polish and hair clips. And silver eye shadow and frosted lip stick. Seriously, that girl thought she was a Jetson or something. Well, it was around the time of the Millennium.
It’s been ingrained into women of a certain age (mine) that sparkles and glitter must be ’embraced’ at Christmas and no matter how hard I try to fight it I always end up with that garland of tinsel around my neck.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it either; dressing up for fun is much cosier and wholesome than dressing up for style. Everyone will inevitably end up wearing a top-to-toe black ensemble at some point over the festive period but a pair of sparkly stilettos, a flashy jacket or some big glittery earrings will keep you up with the party-goers in all their red, green and gold glory. And you’ll love it.
This is the time of year where velvet goes. Velvet and fur, together like a match made in Aunt Doreen’s attic heaven. Velvet and fur and…and…and sparkle. Sparkle in your ears! Sparkle around your eyes! Sparkle through your clothes! Sparkle on you footwear! Sparkle! Sparkle! Sparkle! I’ve gone MAD on sparkle!
Don’t fight it. Let it happen. Remember that time you dressed as an angel for the nativity play? That was lovely, wasn’t it? That was a great time. And you know what made it? The tinsel wings and halo.
Can a person go sparkle free at Christmas? Yes. But you would never want to be friends with them.