Impractical Magic

Post by CM

Y’know when you’re planning on going somewhere, to an event of some sort, and you think you look the business in your appropriate outfit of blazer, dress, wedges and glossy blow-dry, when someone has the bright idea of making you hop over some tins for a photo op? Totes awks.

Hopping to it

It’s the curse of occasion wear, if not actually the problem with getting dressed every day – are you suitably primed for anything and everything that life has to throw at you? Yes, you can take an umbrella, sun glasses, spare pair o’tights in your bag, but what if you have to unexpectedly hobble over some grass in a park, or worse, take to a playing field? I was really rather impressed with Kate and her wedge-jumping prowess, when called upon at the Commonwealth Games to play “three tins” (I don’t know either). But she’s a pro, and has gamely risen to the challenge before, having taking in a game of field hockey in a pair of her trusty heeled boots.

Whadda Gal!

And she bloody well played cricket too! Good job they weren’t her nude heels, think of the grass stains!

The Duke And Duchess Of Cambridge Tour Australia And New Zealand - Day 8
Whatever Next? Hurling?

It helps to have an itinerary of course, but most days sadly don’t come with one. Even if your plan is to go simply from home to the office and home again via the supermarket there are all manner of obstacles that can get in the way of your carefully chosen ensemble. Remember when Michelle Pfeiffer, in classic 90s rom com One Fine Day had to resort to wearing her son’s dinosaur t-shirt to an important work meeting because she spilled orange juice on her blouse? The Scouts would never let that happen; Always Be Prepared.

Screw that, I’d absolutely wear that to work

While Kate obviously has a very British Make Do and Mend attitude, she Keeps Calm and Carries On in any situation no matter how impractical her footwear, there is also that tribe that goes out of their way to make things inconvenient for themselves.

We’re not laughing with you, Blonde Vicky B
Hey! I’m walkin’ here!

Everyone has that friend who holds up the show when tottering precariously in heels they can’t walk in (me), everyone has been in a mortifying situation when a button pops off a pair of tiny shorts in the middle of the afternoon (also me). I hear horrifying tales from bridesmaids whose duties include lifting the bride’s dress up when attending to bathroom matters. Damnit, for nearly 400 years women wore corsets (with a brief interlude during the Regency era)!

13 inch waist, holla!

And there are those times when you think you’re taking the best advice that fashion mags can give by layering, to then be left sweltering in a roasting hot cafe and subsequently leaving half your layers behind. You just never can win.


There’s no lesson to be learned here, or wise words to be given in advice. The fact is, it’s best to just wake up and put on the thing you most desire to wear – and roll with it.


  1. polianthus

    I never thought about brides and bathroom breaks, wonder how Diana Spencer handled that situation with the long train? Also getting married but make women nervous, hm, amazing all the things I havent had to worry about in my life!

      1. polianthus

        that is the route I would go 🙂 – but I am guessing for most white wedding dresses out there – the ones you cannot get into or out of without help from your friends, that is not the primary selection reason!

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