Post By C.M.
A lot has been said about a certain misguided 20 year old and her tongue-wiggling, simulated sex positioning, generally distasteful performance at this year’s MTV VMAs. At this point, four days on, most people have huffed and puffed and moved on from The Miley Show, although in saying that, many still have at least one of the unavoidable images seared into their brains. Even if you, like I, have zero interest in these narcissistic awards, the amount of backlash generated meant that The M Word’s face, and more, are everywhere.
So we must spare a thought for poor Katy Perry, for Rhianna and for Madonna, who all in one fell gyration were removed from the minds of all, despite their bestest efforts to appear edgy and interesting without resorting to crazed stripping and demented, delighted pretend rimming.
I mentioned in a previous post that August is a month of birthdays for many of my family and friends. I will inculde Ms. Cicconne in that group, as who am I to deny the veritable Queen of Pop a place in my circle? For her 55th birthday on the 16th, she donned a bling-tastic set of grills, setting in motion a copy-cat reaction from her devoted disciples. But even she, the chameleon who brought us pointy bras and stick on beauty spots needs to get her inspiration somewhere, looking to 1980s hip-hop for her latest look.
Dentist Eddie Plein, of Eddie’s Gold Teeth, in New York, is credited with starting the trend, fashioning them for various hip-hop artists over the years. The look reached a pinacle in the 2000s, with Nelly releasing a single called “Grillz” in 2005, and it has continued to rise in prominence and cross musical and cultural boundaries. The swimmer Ryan Lochte showed his off at last year’s Olympics, and as fore-mentioned women are becoming increasingly attracted to them. And who could blame them, who wouldn’t want to look like Flavor Flave or Lil Wayne or Jaws from those James Bond movies?
Now, even round these parts, coveting a face full of metal isn’t anything new. A pre-teen TM wanted braces so badly (a few of our friends were already sporting some, not to mention the effervescent Gwen Stefani, and she thought it looked cool ) that she fashioned a paper clip into the shape of a retainer and ended up scraping her gums something awful. Pain is beauty, don’t you know? When she was granted a real set she obviously went the whole hog and got the colourdey little bands on them. As did I, naturally. Our mouth jewelry soon lost its appeal with the regular tightening sessions, and three long years of teeth manipulation meant that saying so long wasn’t all that difficult.
Rhianna has previously blinged up her whole mouth, but last week went with just a subtle little grill between her middle teeth. Her outfit was understated and I really quite liked it (and props to her for wearing a pair of jeans and shoes from her River Island collection), but even with the ripped neck in her t-shirt it was that little diamond (arguably the most expensive thing on her) that cheapened the look.
Her friend Katy Perry isn’t one for shying away from outrageous get-ups, and matching her teeth to her top probably seemed like a fabulous idea. Can’t you just picture her gurning in the car mirror before stepping out to flash her glittering smile to her adoring fans? She probably thought that all the eccentric outfits competition would lie with Lady Gaga, and she was kind of right, but this year’s VMAs will not be remembered for a fashion face off between the two.
Predicting the next big thing? Look no further than Pooh. He’s got a bad-ass name, a crippling addiction and a host of fawning fans. In the picture above, he shows that to get ahead in the music world these days you must pop on a set of diamond grills to show everyone you have enough disposable income to waste on a set of diamond grills, and walk around with no pants on to show everyone how much you enjoy taking risks, pushing boundaries and courting controversy, in the name of art. Ticks all the boxes! Cyrus, eat your heart out, there’s a new kid in town.